The Fresca Files: the Fellowship of the Fanatics
by Dreamstrifer
Summary: What happens when the most beloved Elf in literary history appears in an all girl's boarding school? Mayhem, of course! Total Legomance. Rewrite of the original Fresca Files.
1. And So it Begins

**The Fresca Files**

by Dreamstrifer

**Author's Note:** -**peeks around the corner- **Remember me, Darlings? I wrote the Fresca Files a few years ago, and last year pulled them off for two reasons. I didn't like them, and I didn't have time to write fanfiction anymore.

Well guess what, darlings? I decided to rewrite them. I do miss them, in a strange, twisted, sick sense. And I'm not really into fanfiction anymore (I only read the VERY RARE story written by my fellow Gwethil). So. I'm sure you'll all be excited to read these. Yes, they ARE rewrites, so there will be changes in plot, characters, etc., but the core cast and core storyline will be the same. I hope you enjoy it!

And no, I still don't have time to write fanfiction anymore. See what I do for my darlings? And Yes, Aubrey is totally a Mary Sue still, though she's not as much like me anymore. More because I've changed in the past six years as opposed to the character changing. Dear Lord, has it really been six years since I first started writing the first of this series?!

This rewrite is whole-heartedly dedicated to my husfe Ellabel, Tierney Beckett, Stevie, and Tora for being my biggest fans and my closest friends. I wouldn't have met any of you if it weren't for the original series. LYLAS!

**Chapter One: And so it begins  
**

Alarm clocks are very important things. I learned this in my years at Dawnsend Academy, an all girls' boarding school on the east coast. Massachusetts, to be exact, just outside Boston. Close enough, anyway, for a few brave girls to grab a bus to sneak off campus. And the importance of alarm clocks came in the next morning after a bender at one of the more serious parties on the college apartment property.

Not that I, or my friends had ever done such a thing.

In any case, I learned much about alarm clocks. They alerted you to the fact that you were about to be late to your first class. And unlike college (or so I'm told), attendance is mandatory in most classes at Dawnsend. There's no telling how many close calls my friend Ellette and I had our senior year at Dawnsend. We also found the value in the alarm clock in allowing us to nap during lunch, instead of eating, to recharge for our Gym class. Or something requiring actual effort.

However, the most important lesson I learned about alarm clocks wasn't from a hangover, or a party, or sneaking out to play Ghost in the Graveyard with the boys from Stonewell. This lesson is quite a story, one that involved the most beautiful man I'd ever seen, my four best friends in all the world, and Fresca.

Yes. Fresca. The grapefruit soda that most people I know hated. Including my roommate.

But I'm getting a tiny bit ahead of myself. The day my story began started like any other day.

Alarm clock goes off. Wake up. Hit alarm clock. Fall back asleep. Alarm clock goes off again. Pull alarm clock (cordless!) off of night table and throw it across room, coincidentally hitting my also sleeping roommate. Room mate wakes up. Complains. Both wake up and get dressed for class.

The same routine had been going on since Ellette and I were sophomores, with the alarm clock my mother had sent when the Witch, our wonderful dorm manager, informed my parents of my chronic tardiness. The routine helped quite a bit, and it worked very well. However, it would soon become known that to not follow the routine would be... disastrous.

And I'm getting ahead of myself again.

This morning, Ellette and I dragged ourselves out of bed, and began dressing. Dawnsend had a rather boring uniform. Pleated, knee length black skirt, white dress shirt with blue tie, and black blazer. Or sweater, depending on our desire of the morning. I pulled on my black knee highs and mary janes. Shoes and socks weren't actually restricted by the dress code, within reason. But I decided on comfort rather than fashion. Ellette skipped the knee socks and went straight for skater shoes. She attacked her riotous dark curls with a brush, and ran into the bathroom before I could get in.

I wrinkled my nose, and grabbed my own brush off my nightstand and ran it through my waist length brown locks. "We're going to be late to breakfast!" I called through the bathroom door.

"Suck it!" Ellette replied. We had such a warm, caring relationship. Ellette had been my best friend since childhood, and we'd long since surpassed the need to even be nice to one another. Either that or we were just bitches underneath it all.

I shook my head, and grabbed my book back. I made sure I had the appropriate schoolbooks, and my old tattered copy of the Two Towers. What can I say? It was ingrained genetically. My parents were longtime fans of the Lord of the Rings, as were Ellette's. Family legend went they all met at some Dungeons and Dragons game, and the rest was history. So not only were our parents geeks, but the impressed that geekdom on their children. My older brother wasn't quite as interested, but he did have a certain fondness. He was in college on a basketball scholarship. My parents have no idea what went wrong with him.

Ellette burst out the bathroom, her hair pulled back in a somewhat tame braid, and grabbed her own bag. "Ready?" she asked, and I nodded. We headed out the door, but not before locking it, and ran for the dining hall. Dawnsend wasn't huge, but it was big enough to miss out on a table if you were late for a meal. Luckily, our friends Meredith, better known as Merry, Julie, and Heather had saved us seats.

We ran through the line, elbowing a couple of dawdling freshman out of the way as we grabbed our drinks, and sat down with obvious relief. Our friends greeted us, teasing about our chronic habit of sleeping in. Heather, willowy, brunette, and beautiful, was texting. Probably her boyfriend Kurt, I figured.

"How's loverboy?" Merry asked, her own blonde hair covered with a black bandana. Merry was tall, 5'8", and probably the craziest girl I'd ever met. She and I got along famously our fresman year, though she drove Heather absolutely insane most of the time.

"Saying we should all come out tonight and party in the woods between campuses," Heather said. "Since it's Friday night and all."

"Pass," Julie, Heather's roommate piped up. "We almost got caught last time." Her dark hair was cut short, in a swing bob. She was almost as beautiful as Heather, and though she only had the uniform to work with, managed to look like a magazine fashion spread. She was reading Vogue, of course, and barely paying attention to the conversation. I wondered sometimes if Heather and Julie would have been our friends if it weren't for the fact that Ellette and Merry browbeat them into going on Boston shopping runs with us back in Freshman year. We didn't have a lot in common, as far as tastes went. Julie had a passable interest in fantasy, but nothing like Merry's, Ellette's, and mine. Heather? Heather had about as much interest in fantasy or science fiction as a bar of soap.

But somehow we'd all gelled, and Merry had taken to calling us the Fellowship of the Fanatics. Which wasn't exactly the best term, since the only one I'd call a fanatic was Merry herself. Sure, I had a bit of a crush on Legolas, and Ellette was far too enamored with Aragorn, but nothing to the levels of a fanatic. As for Merry, I wasn't quite sure WHO her lust object of choice was. I was pretty sure I didn't exactly want to know.

But, one thing Heather and Julie had to admit was that hot guys seemed to abound in fantasy movies. And books. But movies definitely. They watched Lord of the Rings, Pirates of the Caribbean, and even Twilight for the eye candy (much to Ellette's and my chagrin, Julie was a bit obsessed with Twilight. Merry often took the opportunity to pretend to sparkle whenever we went for walks. It involved making chiming noises and wearing lots of rhinestones).

"We won't get caught," Heather affirmed. "And I won't get to see Kurt for months after we graduate."

Ellette and I exchanged glances. I shrugged, and dug into my Cocoa Puffs. I wasn't too big on the whole party scene, hard liquor making me sicker than a dog, and crappy music at top volume making my ears hurt. Ellette was a bit more into it, but only because she got a lot of attention from guys because she actually wore club wear, unlike me.

"I think I'll pass too," Merry said. "There's a new monster flick on Sci Fi channel I don't want to miss."

"What now, giant man eating bamboo?" Heather asked, teasingly.

Merry shook her head, though her face was all seriousness. "No. Giant man eating centipedes."

"And now I'm going to have nightmares, thank you Merry." Julie glared at the taller girl. Merry just grinned.

Ellette and I wolfed down our breakfasts, and tossed our trays. Classes would be starting any minute, and we didn't want to be late. Our entire schedules were identical, due to the fact that either someone in the registrar was trying to make us completely sick of each other by the end of our high school or career, or the fact that we were pretty much the same person in different bodies.

Graduation was around the corner, so close I could nearly taste it. I wasn't the best student around, but I had an eye to go to NYU, so I forced myself to do homework and to study. Ellette differed than me in that way. She loved school, and was therefore my biggest motivator to get things done. It was midterms time, and the entire senior class was pretty much in sync with how freaked out we were. It was our last day of tests before we had a nice long, three day weekend, which we always got after midterms. Spring break had been two weeks before, placed at an odd time due to the headmistress's vacation schedule. And apparently the entire school had to synchronize to her schedule.

Midterms were sucky, and this is coming from a girl who'd rather take a test than write an essay with three weeks of advance notice. But I struggled through them. English was almost pitifully easy. It was my forte, I had to admit. I'd wanted to be a writer since I was old enough to read, and I was constantly taking notes in organic chemistry instead of balancing formulas and charting benzene or whatever. That was why it was nice having Heather as a friend. Built in chem tutor.

As soon as I finished my English test, I turned it in and cracked open the Two Towers. I'd lost count of how many times I'd read the trilogy, but it had actually been a couple years since I read the books. I was long overdue for spending times with some of my good fictional friends. I had just gotten to Helm's Deep (where Haldir most surely did not die) when the bell rang.

Gym was our last class of the day. Ellette and I looked at each other as I slid the book in my bag. Usually we both feigned either cramps, illness, or just skipped if we could. We didn't really have tests, but we had to run the mile today. And Ellette and I were _not_ into the whole physical exertion thing. Unless it was something like swimming at the beach with hot guys or running around a Renaissance Faire (yes, we're boy crazy dorks). "Let's sneak in soda and have our own party," Ellette said with a grin. I nodded, and we raced out of the classroom. Soda and candy technically weren't allowed in our dorm rooms. Health thing, I suppose. Granola bars, tea, and water were more than welcome. But I didn't know a single pair of roommates, except for the newest freshmen and the health freaks, who didn't break the rules.

It was a common tradition with us, when we weren't in the woods or sneaking out to Boston. Ellette would go into the town of Dawnsend for snacks and video rentals with the supposed intent of buying allergy medicine and to send a letter to her parents in Hong Kong (it had taken a long time to cultivate the misinformation that the Mathesons didn't have reliable internet access. In Hong Kong of all places). I would go to the student union and buy up soda, with the cover story of a study group on the quad. I'd smuggle them in my book bag and we'd have a party.

We usually skipped dinner, preferring to indulge on pizza rolls cooked in the 3rd floor microwave, ramen cooked over our illegal hotplate we hid in Ellette's sock drawer during the Witch's inspections, and lots, and lots of junk food. We ate so healthy in the dining hall we had to blow it every now and then for our sanity.

Usually we invited the rest of the Fellowship over, so I sent them all texts while I set up the DVD player, waiting for Ellette to get back. I opened one of my sodas, Fresca to be exact. I was the only one I knew besides my mother who would drink it, so I had no fear of Ellette or Merry stealing my soda. Julie and Heather preferred water, though they'd take a diet soda if the desire struck them. I didn't have the self-control. I needed my sugary, grapefruity goodness.

I set the Fresca on my night table, and stood up to open the door when I heard a knock. Ellette, weighed down with groceries she managed to slip past the Witch, couldn't get the knob herself.

"Back," she said, and held up a DVD case triumphantly. "And we are totally watching 12 Monkeys."

I grinned. I couldn't wait to see Heather's face when she eagerly started watching her favorite actor Brad Pitt and realizing we sprung a bizarre science fiction movie on her. We were evil. Definitely.

"Pop it in. The girls are on their way over," I explained. I hopped up on my bed, and started playing with my koosh ball, tossing it back and forth between my hands. Ellette put the DVD in, and the creepy menu screen music started playing. Ellette went to work putting cold groceries in our mini fridge. We wouldn't cook anything until the other girls got there, to divvy up portions to everyone's satisfaction. We never could tell if Julie would be on one of her strange health kicks.

I tossed the koosh to Ellette when she turned around, and she caught it flawlessly. Guess skipping Gym had no averse effects on the girl. "Three Day Weekend, Hallelujah!" she announced, and tossed it back at me. However, this time, it hit the lamp on my night table, which knocked over into the open can of Fresca. It went tumbling over the edge of my desk, drenching the wall socket with carbonated deliciousness.

All the lights in the dorm flickered a few times before turning off and the TV went dead. We heard screams split through the dorms. So maybe Ellette shouldn't have skipped Gym...

"Dammit!" I cried, and grabbed a lighter from the drawer. Candles weren't allowed either, but we hid those in along with the hot plate and candy. I pulled one out from under my bed and lit it, trying to find Ellette in the darkness.

I saw her figure in the candle light, moving towards me, and suddenly stumbling over something on the floor. She cursed viciously, pain lancing her voice.

Another voice raised, saying something in a language I didn't understand.

A very male voice.

A very male voice with a British accent.

"What the hell is a guy doing in our dorm?!" I screeched.

"Would you kindly get off of me?" the male voice asked, presumably to Ellette. In the flickering candle light, she looked down at the person she was lying on top of, let out a little shriek of her own, and rolled off, crab walking backwards away from him until she ran into her bed. "Thank you."

"What the hell is this? How'd you get in here so fast?" she asked, more worried than I. I stood up, and moved the candle to get a better look at our stranger. He had long arms and legs, with long hair as blonde as Merry's, pulled back. He had two knives and a quiver of arrows strapped to his back, and a bow lay at his side. He was clad in a tunic and leggings, and a cape tangled around his legs. He was beautiful, especially in the flattering candle light, and looked to be about five or six years older than myself. I couldn't tell his eyes in the darkness, but they were focused on me.

"Where am I?" he asked, genuine confusion flooding his voice.

"Well, man, that's a good question," I said, leaning away. I wasn't about to trust some fruitcake with a bow and arrows who randomly showed up in my dorm room.

"I am not a Man," he retorted. He stood up, towering over me by at least a foot. Not that it was a hard thing to do. I was five feet and some change at a stretch. "I am the Prince of Mirkwood!"

Ellette and I exchanged a disbelieving glance.

"Ellette," I ventured, and turned back to look at the guy standing indignantly in front of us. "I blame it on the Fresca."

* * *

**Author's Note the Second: **What do y'all think? Yes, I am aware it's cliche and Mary sue-ish, but tha's part of it's charm! Or something like that... anyway, I'm having way too much fun writing this. I don't know how frequent updates will be, as I'm busy with making costumes (ACEN is right around the corner, GUH!) and with college and all that jazz. But hopefully it won't be all that bad. :D I can't help but love my stories, even if the originals make me cringe... But anyway, review and tell me what you think!


	2. A Strange Elf, Clad in Brown and Green

**The Fresca Files**

by Dreamstrifer

**Chapter Two: A Strange Elf, Clad in Brown and Green.  
**

The lights flickered a few times, and turned back on. I suppose Mrs. Thomas, better known as the witch in the dorm building, had changed the fuse. I blew out the candle, and looked at the man with careful scrutiny. His eyes were a gorgeous blue, complimented by his light blonde hair. He had a very good looking face, with defined cheekbones and a strong jaw. He just barely managed to escape being feminine while completely lacking macho man sensibilities. In other words, he looked like an elf, and the delicately pointed ears only increased that thought. I'd seen a few people have latex or silicone ears, and these were even better than the good ones. The man in turned gazed at us in complete fascination.

"Ellette, Aubrey," a new voice spoke up. "Why is there a man dressed like a Renaissance Faire escapee in your room?"

Ellette and I whirled around to see Heather, Merry, and Julie standing there. Julie was the one who had spoken.

"I am not a man," the stranger attested, even more annoyed.

"What are you, a woman?" Merry bounded over and poked him in the arm, circling him. "No, definitely a man."

"Don't poke the strange men, Merry," Heather said, crossing over and pulling her away. "Who'd you get from the boys school to actually dress up like this?"

Ellette and I shared a glance, and the stranger was about to retort again, when I broke in. "We have no idea who this guy is. Ellette tripped over him when the lights went out." I glanced at him, and looked at him up and down. "Is there a sci fi fantasy convention in town?"

Julie let out a laugh. "And why would he be _here? _Sure, it's an all girls' school, but they have Princess Leia and freaking Catwoman over there."

Julie did have a point. The man was staring at all of us like we were insane. He looked about as lost as we were confused by his sudden presence in the dorm. He opened his mouth to speak when a knock came on my door. "Ellette? Aubrey? Are you okay in there?"

"Holy Cthulhu!" Merry exclaimed. She grabbed the guy by the arm, and shoved him in the closet. "Sorry man, but if you get caught in here _all_ of us get in trouble!"

"I am not a -" He didn't get to finish as Merry slammed the closet door shut. As soon as she did, Ellette opened the door. Standing there was the Witch, looking pinched and sour.

"Is everything all right in here?" She sniffed, and looked around. "The power outage didn't scare you, did it?"

Yeah. Because we were six years old. "We're fine, Mrs. Thomas," Ellette said with a smile. "We're getting ready to go down to supper, actually. Merry, Julie, and Heather just stopped by to walk with us."

"Fine." The Witch sniffed again. "And two girls on the floor below you were caught with candy. We're starting to crack down hard on food in the dorms, as we don't want ants crawling in with the warm weather." She glared at me in particular. I smiled prettily. "See you at supper." She whirled around, and closed the door behind her.

"Dear god that woman frightens me," Heather said, putting a hand on her heart. She shook her head, her hair falling into her blue eyes. She swiped it out the way with a sigh. After classes, we were free to wear whatever clothes we wanted for the evening, and both she and Julie took full advantage of the fact. Both were dressed in skinny jeans and whatever tops were popular nowadays.

I crossed over to the closet, and opened it. The elf dude was sitting gingerly on top of Ellette's shoes, one of her dresses draped over his head. He was still fully armed, and that couldn't have been comfortable for the position. "Sorry, man," I said, reaching out a hand to help him up. "We just can't afford to have a man in our room." He took my hand, and got to his feet. Though I'm not entirely sure how much he really needed me. Not only was he much taller than me, he was more graceful by far. It was probably more due to his politeness than anything.

He opened his mouth to speak, but Ellette cut him off. "And if you say you're not a man one more time, I'm going to kick you in the face."

He glanced at her, as if trying to figure out if she was making the threat in earnest. "I'm sorry. But I am not. I am an Elf."

"And I'm going to drop in Middle-earth," Heather retorted. She waltzed up to him, and tugged on his ear. "Spirit gum?"

The man/elf/delusional weirdo let out a sound that, put rudely was a shriek, and put politely was a yelp. Apparently Heather had tugged rather hard. She let go immediately, her eyes widening. "Holy crap in a freaking basket," she exclaimed, and touched his ear again, this time much more gently. "Your ears really are pointed!"

At her proclamation, the rest of us crowded around him, and poked and prodded his ears. He ducked away, trying to be polite but still wanting to get our hands off of him. "Please," he said, "That is quite enough!"

We all backed away, as if suddenly realizing we were being rude. "That is so weird," I said, circling around him. "Did you make your costume yourself? I've seen pictures of people who've had their ears pointed by surgery. Like, the same people who split their tongues."

The guy just looked at me in confusion, not understanding a word I said.

"What's your name?" Julie finally asked. "And which of the guys sent you?"

"My name is Legolas Greenleaf. My father, King Thranduil of Mirkwood, sent me to Imladris to inform Lord Elrond that Gollum had escaped. Once there I was sent on a mission of utmost importance, for the sake of Middle-earth, and I was resting in the wood of Lorien when I suddenly found myself in this strange room, in the dark, and that one there," he gestured towards Ellette, "tripped over my person."

You could hear a pin drop after that little speech.

Merry, of course, was the first one to speak. "Do you have an Aragorn cosplayer too?!" she asked excitedly.

"I beg your pardon?" he asked, obviously recognizing Aragorn's name, but not knowing what cosplayer meant.

"How about hobbitses?" she continued. "GIMLI? Tell me you have a Gimli!"

"We have Gimli... not _a_ Gimli. Tell me, how do you know the names of my companions?"

"Holy shit," Heather said, after a long pause. "The man doesn't break character!"

"I told you, I am not-"

I cut him off. "A man. Right. You do realize that what you're saying is absolutely insane? You're not really Legolas. You're just some guy who spent way too much on his costume."

"Costume?"

I glanced at my friends, who were as flabbergasted as I was, though Merry now was jumping in circles around him, poking at various parts of his clothes, wondering aloud if he'd made them himself or if he'd commissioned them. "Not movie version," she said. "More like the book. A strange elf clad in brown and green..."

"Look, I am sorry to intrude on what is obviously your living quarters. I must make my way back to Lorien and continue on with my quest."

"Boston is fifteen miles away. You might want to catch a bus," Julie put in.

The guy looked rather irritated that we weren't being more accommodating. But honestly, he was acting like he really was Legolas Greenleaf, and that was pretty insane. Maybe he was schizophrenic, and high functioning, and just let the little voices take over a bit too much and ended up scaling four stories to appear in our dorm room with the lights went out.

Just thinking that made me shake my head. Not on the schizophrenic part, but on the scaling four stories. We had our ways of sneaking out, but not directly out a four story window.

"So you really think you are Legolas, huh?" Ellette asked.

"Yes, I really am Legolas." He straightened his posture, and looked down at her. "There is no 'thinking' about it."

Ellette glanced at me. "Obviously. Julie, Heather, Merry... we really shouldn't skip dinner, not with the Witch watching our every move. Aubrey and I will get this sorted out and meet you down there, kay?"

The three reluctantly agreed, and filed out. The elf dude looked after them, that look of confusion right at home on his handsome face. Ellette sat on the edge of her bed, and regarded him carefully. "Okay, here's the deal. You're insisting you're a fictional elf from Middle-earth. It is absolutely impossible for you to be Legolas. So either you're insane, or you're a very good actor."

Legolas, if that was his real name, wisely said nothing.

I took the opportunity to speak up. "Look, if you are acting, the jokes over, you got us, ha ha, and was it Kurt or Michael who put you up to this?" At his blank look, I continued. "And if you really believe you are Legolas, the last place you should be is in the dorm room of a girls' boarding school. They put people in jail for lest than that, darling."

"This is a school?" He looked around, and actually walked closer to my nightstand. He poked at my alarm clock, obviously fascinated by the glowing numbers. "It does not look like it, my lady."

"Hoo boy. This is our living space. Like... bedroom. Only we share it. Aubrey and I." Ellette poked him on the arm, and he snapped his head up. "Our classrooms are in the next building over. Which you should have seen."

"I am telling you, I was resting under a mellyrn tree in Lorien when there was a flash of light, and I found myself on your floor." He waved his hand with a futile gesture. "That is my remembrance."

Things just didn't add up. Either he was so far in his delusion that he didn't remember how he got into the dorm, or he did randomly burst in a flash of light. Of course, that was impossible. Wasn't it?

I knew better than to ask where he had come from. Mirkwood, obviously. I wondered if it would be best to go along with the delusion or try to tell him what was what. "Look, ah, Legolas, can I call you Legolas?"

"That would be fine. No need for titles."

"Right, uh, Legolas. You can't stay here. This is a girls' dormitory, and Ellette and I are in for a world of trouble if we get caught with you here. Already the Witch hates us for some of the crap we pulled over the years, and even our senior standing won't save us."

"I couldn't impose upon you, my lady. . ." He paused, realizing he hadn't gotten our names. He probably heard the others when Ellette addressed our friends, but I wouldn't blame him if he forgot.

"I'm Aubrey Raston," I introduced. "And this is Ellette Matheson."

"Such curious names," he commented. "Unlike any I've heard before."

I snorted. "Yeah, well, our parents were rather creative, I have to admit. Anyway, Legolas, if Ellette is okay with it, we can let you hang around here until we figure out what's going on. We'll just have to take the chance that you're not a vicious cannibalistic serial killer."

Ellette giggled. "It's fine with me. But we have to get down to dinner. Are you hungry?"

Legolas looked blindsided, and I didn't blame him. I suppose the Fellowship of the Fanatics was a force of nature, to get right down to it. This guy, Legolas as I suppose we were calling him, was a very confused man who just so happened to look very realistically like an elf. There was something strange about him, something I hadn't noticed until after the other three girls left. Just... a strange aura. Now, I don't get into auras and psychics and zodiac signs or anything, but concentrating on the presence of this Legolas brought about a strange feeling. It was as if something was telling me this guy was indeed who he said he was, my reason be damned.

It was a very uncomfortable feeling to someone who always thought they knew what was reality and what was fiction, and my mind heavily rebelled against the feeling.

"Please don't leave the room," I added. "We'll be gone maybe an hour, and we'll bring back something more nutritious than milky ways and twinkies. You can watch TV," I grabbed the remote from Ellette' night stand and turned it on. It blinked on, and I saw I had landed on a rerun of 21 Jump Street. I was distracted momentarily by the hotness that is Johnny Depp.

"Hey, Aubrey! Earth to Aubrey!" Ellette flicked at my ear. "Stop gazing at the Depp and hurry. We're going to be late and the others are waiting."

"Make yourself at home. Unarm yourself, lay down, whatever," I said, gesturing to my bed. "Don't go poking in our underwear drawer, or we'll be forced to sic Merry on you."

"Merry? As in-"

I broke in before he could complete the sentence. "Our Merry, the blonde haired psycho chick who was poking you earlier quoting from the book. We'll see you in an hour." Legolas watched us go, a strange forlorn look on his face. I guess it was understandable. He was confused, away from home wherever that was, and totally insane.

We had a strange man in our room who thought he was an elf, and for whatever reason, we were _leaving_ him there. I suppose common sense was never our strong suit.

* * *

**Author's Note: **So many old fans have reviewed! I'm so excited that YOU guys are excited. I recognized most of your pen names, and that really made me smile. I missed all your wonderful reviews and all of these characters. As you can see, this is where the story really starts differing from the original, as far as believing he's really Legolas is concerned. I'm not sure how much of the "adventure" they go on will remain (Like shopping and what not), since the love story itself is going to take longer to unfold. You'll see. I hope you won't be too disappointed in the changes!

And yes, I do plan on writing Heather's and Merry's stories. They both will have changes of their owns, depending on how this story changes. Though, be forewarned, Merry's story will change drastically. I got some ideas talking with Tierney Beckett on how to adapt and improve, and I came up with some more ideas I love. I hope you all won't mind too much! Anywho, I could babble on incessantly, but I must go to the supermarket and buy eggs and apples, because that's apparently all I want to eat lately.


	3. Of Slinkies and Houseplants

**The Fresca Files**

by Dreamstrifer

_Special thanks to my mom, Dread Lady Freya, and Morohtar for certain things in this chapter. Y'all are dolls._

**Chapter Three: Of Slinkies and Houseplants**

Ellette, who had worn her huge hoodie for the express purpose of smuggling food back to the dorm, went up to the dinner line and started sneaking rolls and things. We'd both long since learned the art of wearing baggy clothing and sneaking food in our pockets. I think Ellette went to Hot Topic for the express purpose of buying a pair of those huge cargo pocketed pair of pants from the guy's section.. It was funny seeing her so attired, as she usually tried to at least look presentable.

"Heather, do me a favor and check to see if the guys know anything about our guest," I said around a mouthful of carrots. "Text me."

She nodded, and picked at her mashed potatoes. She had been looking forward to junk food tonight, and I wondered if she was saving her calories for whatever alcoholic beverage of choice the boys had hidden in the woods.. Ellette came back to the table, and we hurried back towards our dorm. Mrs. Thomas didn't seem to notice us giggling with Ellette's hoodie weighed down with food as we ran past her to the elevator. She was too engrossed in her women's porn, I mean.... romance novel, to notice.

"I think I have an entire meal in here," Ellette commented when we stumbled into the hallway. I had no idea how she did it, but she was holding her hoodie funny, with the bottom of the front close against her hips, with the food in the pockets and tucked down the front of it. It looked like she had a lumpy pregnancy.

"I hope he's hungry." I pulled out my key and unlocked the door, hoping that the guy would still be there and hadn't somehow magically locked the door behind him when he ran off. Or went out the window. Luck was on our side. The guy was sitting on my bed, his weapons laid out in an organized fashion behind him. He was staring at the TV with the strangest expression on his face. 21 Jump Street had ended, and I noticed that a rerun of CSI was on.

"Hey, uh, Legolas," I ventured. He didn't even turn to look at me. On TV, Grissom was doing something with fingerprints. You know, as he does every single freaking episode. His brow was furrowed deeply, and it looked as if he had no idea what was going on. "Guess elves don't need crime scene investigation," I added in a low mutter.

At my mutter, he looked up. "Oh, you're back."

"Obviously," I snorted. "We brought you food."

He looked from me to Ellette, who had crossed to her desk, and was pulling napkin wrapped food from her hoodie and setting it on the table. "Salisbury steak, which I had to wrap like fifteen times so it wouldn't soak through to my hoodie, and some rolls, and a few jello cups." I was impressed. I only would have been more impressed if she'd smuggled mashed potatoes in.

Legolas, or whoever he was, stood up and looked at the food with an air of disgust. Not that I really blamed him, cafeteria food definitely wasn't the greatest. A girl two years older than I had spent her entire senior year eating from vending machines. Not only did she gain twenty pounds, but she had been horribly sick from lack of proper nutrition. But she didn't have to eat mystery meat twice a week.

"Thank you, but I believe I shall have to refuse," he said, poking at the jello. It jiggled, and he jumped back. I caught myself before I burst into laughter. This guy was off his rocker. "I am not hungry."

Ellette and I shared a glance, both of our eyebrows raised. Ellette circled her index finger around her ear in the universal sign of "this guy is completely cracked!" and I just rolled my eyes. I turned offthe TV, and turned to Legolas, who was poking around my night table with interest.

"So, Legolas or whoever you are," I started. He didn't seem to be paying any attention to me, which was putting _me _on edge. "Do you know how to get home from here? We can look it up on the GPS-"

Legolas cut me off by pointing at the slinkie on my night table. "What is that?" he asked.

My mouth dropped open as he picked up the toy and start playing with it. He seemed tickled to realize the coil would bounce up and back and forth. Ellette was as shocked as I was, and we stared at him as he lost himself in the wonder of the slinkie.

"Dear God," she said, unzipping her hoodie. "The man is a lunatic."

I got that weird feeling again, the one I hadn't noticed until the other girls left earlier. Some strange aura. It actually put me quite at ease, and I wasn't feel so edgy around this guy any more. "Either that," I said absently, not even realizing what was coming out of my mouth, "or he's telling the absolute truth."

Ellette looked at me like I was crazy, and I looked at her like I was crazy. We turned back towards the guy who seemed right at home in his ridiculous get up, entranced by a slinkie of all things.

My cell phone killed the awkward moment, playing the Ballad of Bilbo Baggins at an ear piercing volume. Ellette dissolved into giggles, and Legolas seemed rather surprised by the dulcet tones of Leonard Nimoy singing, "Bilbo, Bilbo Baggins! He's only three feet tall! Bilbo, Bilbo Baggins! The bravest little hobbit of them all!"

I let out a few choice swear words and fumbled with my pockets to pull out my phone. I saw Heather's name flashing as ol' Spock sang about hobbits being peace loving. "Hello?" I asked as I flipped open the phone.

"Aubrey, you sound exasperated," Heather said, not bothering to say hello.

"Long story," I mumbled.

"Or not," Ellette put in. I stuck my tongue out at her.

"What do you need, Heather?"

"I cut out right after you did, and found the guys setting up in the woods. They have absolutely no idea about any guy sneaking into your room, and believe me, I tried my patented techniques."

I had to chuckle at that. Heather was well known as a barracuda. In fact, I was pretty sure she would make a wonderful lawyer, just by the very nature of her take-no-crap attitude. However, I don't think she'd have the constitution to deal with other lawyers, though.

"So then, this guy really is crazy."

"I don't know. But we have to figure out what we're going to do with him, and we can't gallivant him around wearing a costume, and he can't stay in the dorms. I mean, he looks what, twenty-five? You know how much we'd get in trouble if a teenager was in here with us, what about a nutso who looks that old?"

I glanced over at Legolas, who had abandoned the slinky, and was now moving towards Ellete. "If I may be so bold," he said. "But I really must be returning."

"Heather, hold on," I said before she could reply to me.

"I'm sorry dude, but," Ellette glanced at me, "I don't think we can do it."

"I must return and help with the Quest," he insisted. "I have wasted enough time in this strange place. I don't even know how I came to be here. If you could just show me the way out of this building, I can make my own way."

"Um, right." Ellette's expression grew stricken. "I don't know if that's such a good idea, though." I knew exactly what she meant. If this guy was truly mentally ill, setting him loose in New England was a bad, bad idea. If he was just screwing with us, it would solve our problems. And, the most impossible of all, if he was truly Legolas Greenleaf from Middle-earth, he would never find his way home.

A knock came on the door, and I told Heather I'd call her back. Ellette crossed to open the door to reveal Merry. She bounded in. "I was just thinking, " she said, and ran over to poke Legolas in the ribs. "The guy appeared when you spilled Fresca on the outlets, his ears are pointed, he talks like some renaissance faire wannabe, and he's totally gorgeous. I think he really IS Legolas!" She looked immensely hopeful, and Legolas seemed to brighten considerably at her belief. Of course, little did he know this was also the girl who believed us when we told her the stork took babies to be adopted our freshman year. She firmly believed this until our social studies teacher informed her that it was impossible.

"Merry, I'm going to give you a pass because you're insane, but no, he's not." Ellette rolled her eyes, and flopped on her bed. "And you're not leaving this room," she added, sending a glare to Legols.

"Actually," I piped up, looking at my phone. "He is. We're going to get him some normal clothes and try to find out what the hell is going on."

Legolas looked at all three of us like we were crazy. I bit my lip, trying to figure how best to sneak him out. I looked at the tree growing outside my window. I'd never ever tried to climb down it, figuring I'd break my arm. Four stories is a long way. I nixed that idea, and was trying to figure out how best to duck into the maintenance room on the ground floor when Legolas interrupted my thoughts.

"My lady," he said softly. I looked up, and kept a steady gaze, not breaking eye contact. "I assure you I am who I say I am."

I felt that strange feeling again, and I shook it off. "Whatever," I replied, slurring the word together. "I'm calling Heather." I dialed her number, and Legolas looked away, frustrated. He turned to look out the window into the darkness. Sitting on the sill was Ellette's potted African violets. Ellette and I were the furthest thing from gardeners, but she got them as a gift one Valentine's day when she was dating a boy from Stonewell Academy. They were our pet plant, and strangely, over the last couple months, were growing withered and sickly. We had no idea how to take care of them, and Ellette was even considering throwing them out. She'd rather throw them out than as Mrs. Thomas for gardening tips, in any case.

"What's up, Aubrey?" Heather asked.

I watched Legolas, curious, as I spoke to her. "I'm coming by with the guy. Can you ask one of Kurt's friends to bring jeans and a shirt for a tall, lean guy? Built like AJ, I suppose. No matter what we do with this guy, he has to look halfway normal."

"Uh, okay. Are you really sure you want to bring him by?"

Legolas looked down over the plant. He touched one of the withered blossoms gingerly, stroking it as if trying to coax it to life. It was really strange, and Ellette hopped up to run over and ask what he was doing.

"Maybe one of the guys knows something," I said.

"How do you water this?" Legolas asked her.

"Just pour some in every time we see the soil's dry," Ellette responded, trying to keep her guard up.

Heather spoke on the other end, though it was getting a bit loud with the boys roughhousing or something I wasn't sure I wanted to know. "Whatevs, chicka. Bring him by. Michael will be hella jealous."

I snorted, and was about to say something else when Legolas spoke again.

"It doesn't like water like that," he said, softly. "But it's not dead yet. Pour water in this," he pointed at the saucer under the pot. Ellette looked annoyed, and I really couldn't blame her. But something about his tone caught at me. It wasn't like he was talking about the plant in general terms, like a gardener might. It was talking as if the plant had told him. Strange.

"Uh, Heather, we'll be right there." I closed my phone, and shook my head. "Well, guy, let's get cracking before the Witch comes checking the room."

"Can I come?" Merry asked.

"No," Ellette exclaimed before I could. "Absolutely not. Last time the guy thought you were drunk when you'd only had a bottle of iced tea and tried to get you to play beer pong."

Merry snickered at the memory, and I just sighed. "Come on, uh, Legolas. We'll see if anything's familiar outside, okay?"

Eager, no doubt, to get out of the small dorm room, he followed me to the door, shooting one last look at the plant on our way out. We rode the elevator to the second floor. Legolas reaction to the elevator was rather amusing. He seemed concerned that the doors opened by themselves, but said nothing. He tensed when the elevator started moving, and grabbed the wall when we stopped. I didn't quite know what to say, so I just stayed silent, watching him with amusement. We got out, and I led him down the stairs. I chose this way, because the door to the stairwell was tucked behind the maintenance room, as opposed to the lobby where Mrs. Thomas was waiting to bust any girl bringing in "illegal" paraphernalia.

Once we were on the first floor, it was all a matter of forcing our way into a very surprised freshman's room and using her window to jump out onto the back grounds to make a break for the woods. The freshman knew better than to tattle on me. Her roommate was nowhere to be seen as we walked in, and crossed over to the window. She just stood, staring agape at Legolas as I forced open the sticky window.

"Close your mouth, darling," I said with a flash of a smile. "Something might fly in. Elves first."

Legolas, still shell-shocked from the elevator, moved forward and nimbly climbed out the window. It was still a good five feet drop to the ground, as the dorm hall was built on a slope. I climbed up, a little less gracefully. I was about to jump down when Legolas reached up, and caught me by the waist. I was so surprised I lost my grip. It didn't matter, though, as the dude was deceptively strong. He didn't even seem to notice the sudden force of weight as he swept me down and set me on my feet.

I admit, I lost my breath as he did so. It was so unexpected and... chivalrous. There was nothing funny about it, no ulterior motive. I was a female, and to him, females deserved respect and a helping hand whether they needed it or not. My head spun. "Thank you," I managed. I don't know why I was losing my head, but being so close to him, to have him actually _touch_ me was overwhelming. He was just so different than any other person I'd met before, and I couldn't even begin to explain why.

"You are most welcome," he replied formally, and stepped back, waiting for me to lead. Here he was, free from the dorm, and he was trusting me to help him. Whether it was because he had no idea where he was or was still messing with me, I didn't know. But I was beginning to think he was just that polite of a guy. It unnerved me, so I hurried up and started making my way to the woods that edged the property of Dawnsend academy. There was a security system on the property, but no one really checked the horse trails available for student use, with an escort of course.

Legolas followed me, and the only way I could tell was when I looked over my shoulder and saw him trailing at my heels. The dude was _quiet_. I continued on, ducking into the woods, making a straight line for the hang out spot. It was off the trails, in a sort of clearing surrounded on all sides by trees. None of the teachers ever bothered to check the woods, figuring girls were too girly or something to brave the forest to engage in illicit liaisons.

As I thought about it, Legolas was actually very trusting of me. I mean, he had no idea where he was, if he was to be believed, and if he was mentally ill or really who he said he was, he was trusting me to help him. It was kind of a strange revelation, and I stopped suddenly. Legolas caught himself just in time to avoid running into me. I turned, and looked up at him. I could just make out his face in the darkness. "Legolas?" I asked. "Why are you following me?"

"Because," he answered, as if the answer were obvious. "You will help me get home."

I didn't quite know what to say to that. He was totally assured in this. I shook my head. "How do you know I will?"

"Because," he repeated. "I know."

"Okay. But if you end up in the loony bin playing checkers and watching Golden Girls reruns every day don't blame me," I muttered.

"Loony bin?"

I looked up at him. He really was quite tall. "You know what, never mind."

He didn't answer, so I turned, and headed towards the party spot. I could hear laughter, and Heather's chastising voice. Yeah. This was going to be awkward.

* * *

**Author's Note**: 40 reviews for two chapters! I love you all dearly. Especially you Morohtar, for the awesome "in depth" review of my silly story. Morohtar mentioned me (and Tierney Beckett) in his latest blog. You can find the link to the entry on my profile page. Check it out, he's fabulous. My mom helped me come up with Ellette's plant because I kill things. I can barely keep my bamboo alive and all you do is keep it watered.

As you can see, we really are deviating from the original. Hopefully we'll come upon some of the events that happened in the original, though, soon.

If you're intensely curious, the Ballad of Bilbo Baggins is my cell phone ringtone in real life. It's ridiculous. I think I first heard it about ten or twelve years ago when I first read the hobbit. If you've never heard it (or even if you have) go to youtube, and type in either "ballad of Bilbo Baggins" or "Bilbo Baggins Leonard Nimoy" and watch the video. It should be the first result. It's completely and utterly cracktastic.


	4. Into the Woods

**The Fresca Files**

by Dreamstrifer

**Chapter Four: Into the Woods**

The party was in full swing. Never underestimate the rich's ability to acquire illicit substances. Not that there were any drugs going on; Heather would have probably killed them with her bare hands. But there was plenty of beer and vodka and other such nasty liquors being passed about.

Two of the guys, one being Heather's boyfriend Kurt, were working on building a bonfire.

"Aubrey!" Heather had eyes like a hawk. She ran over to pull me into a hug. "What's all this trouble then?" She looked up at Legolas, and wrinkled her nose. "AJ brought some clothes."

At the sound of his name, the other boy working on the fire looked up and doubled over laughing when he saw Legolas. "An escapee from the Renaissance Faire?" he gasped out between laughs.

"Shut up and give him his clothes," Heather snapped. AJ rolled his eyes, but left Kurt blowing on the tinder and pulled out a pair of jeans, a t-shirt, and some sneakers from a backpack.

"Here you go, bro," he said, tossing them at Legolas. Legolas caught them, looking at me with curiosity.

"Go behind a tree and change," Heather said, taking charge. Legolas looked at her for a moment, then did as she said. "He really is a weird one, isn't he?"

"Yeah," I agreed, though the words didn't quite hold emotion. "Weird."

"Where'd you pick up that guy?" AJ asked us.

"I don't know, he showed up in our dorm room at the school." Heather snickered. "He's a fine specimen of the male species, I must say."

"Aubrey?" I jumped at the voice. I don't know why, but I guess I was just jumpy from the whole situation. Michael, Kurt's roommate, came up to me and put a hand on my shoulder. "Who's that guy who came with you?"

Heather was right, Michael was jealous. I wiggled out from under his grasp and managed a strained smile. Luckily, in the darkness he couldn't see me very well. "Why don't you tell me?"

"What are you talking about."

"So you guys didn't send him to mess with us?" Heather broke into the awkward conversation, for which I was eternally grateful. "I mean, it totally is something you guys would do. Pay some stranger to come and freak us out. Haha, funny."

"Heather, babe? What are you smoking?" Kurt laughed at his poor joke, and Michael joined in.

Legolas walked back from behind the tree. He tugged on the jeans, which were far baggier than his leggings. He cast me a desperate look. I couldn't help but burst into laughter when I saw the get up. Not the clothes themselves. They were just fine. Legolas had pulled on the button down shirt over a tight fitting undershirt he'd already been wearing. He'd buttoned it up and left it untucked over the jeans. Over the shirt he'd wrapped the belt and buckled it. Apparently the concept of belt loops were lost on a Middle-earth elf.

"I did not just think that unironically," I muttered as I hurried over to sort him him. "Belt loops, Legolas."

"Legolas!" Kurt shrieked. I ignored his raucous laughter as I made Legolas lift the hem of his shirt.

"Belt loops are integral to not flashing the whole world your underwear, darling," I explained. I unbuckled the belt and started threading it through the loops of his jeans. Legolas looked down at my hands, rather intrigued. Surely he wasn't that dumb when it came to clothing, was he? Once satisfied, I pulled the belt as tight as I dared and fastened the buckle.

"I think he's perfectly capable of dressing himself," Michael said and pulled on my arm. I wasn't expecting to be manhandled, so I let go of Legolas' belt rather suddenly. Legolas stumbled back, the first display of clumsiness I'd seen on him yet, and dropped his shirt.

"That was quite uncalled for," he said, leveling Michael with a stare. It was dark, but the threat was very obvious in his stance.

"Yeah, well, no one asked you," Michael retorted. He pulled me closer to the fire, and I let out a squeak of surprise.

"No one asked you either, Michael Starret!" I exclaimed.

"I don't like you pawing that guy. You don't even know who he is, you said it yourself!"

"Yeah, well, he hasn't manhandled me and dragged me around yet, so he's got one up on you." I wrested my arm from Michael's grasp, but he only grabbed me again. "What's your deal?"

"I don't want you getting hurt, Aubrey. I mean, after last year-"

"Don't you dare bring up last year, Michael." I pushed him away once again. Thankfully, more guys and girls had showed up in the clearing so our little altercation hadn't garnered too much attention. I looked around and only saw Heather, Kurt, Legolas, and AJ staring at us. I turned away from Michael. "You don't get to do this, all right? You got me? You don't get to feel protective of me."

Legolas stepped closer to me and put a hand on my shoulder. Unlike with Michael, it felt comforting. I guess it was because I didn't trust Michael as far as I could throw him, and I didn't know the guy who called himself Legolas enough to trust him or not. I'd never been particularly bright when it came to guys, but I chose to let Legolas comfort me.

"I think you'd better leave her alone," Legolas said, the threat from his stance joining the tone in his voice. He could give the Witch pointers on intimidation.

"I got this, Legolas," I said, and reluctantly wiggled out from under his hand too. I didn't want anyone to think I couldn't take care of myself now, did I? "Michael, I think you'd better leave me alone."

Michael glared at Legolas, but he eventually slunk away to go do shots with the jocks. Michael always set me ill-at-ease, and I was too busy focusing on him to remember I had come to find out what Legolas was doing in my dorms. Heather crept up to me and put an arm around my shoulders.

"He means well, you know that," she said in a quiet voice. She was right, but I didn't want to give her the satisfaction. When I didn't say anything, she steered me over to the tree that Legolas had changed behind. He had left his elf clothes in a neatly folded pile, his weapons resting on top. "Look, I know that you're still not over what happened a year ago, but please don't take it out on Michael. It wasn't his fault. He had nothing to do with it."

"He could have-" I stopped myself and shook my head. It was no use dwelling on it. "It doesn't matter. Michael knows I don't want anything to do with him and he still pushes. You know how I get when someone pushes me."

"You push back," Heather replied with a grin. She pushed on my shoulder good-naturedly. "Are you going to enjoy the party or are you going to be a grump?"

"I didn't come for the party, Heather." I glanced at Legolas, who was watching us intently. Kinda creepy. "Who _is_ that guy, anyway?" I fought the urge to pick up one of his knives. I wanted to check the edge, to see if he was dumb enough to have a sharpened knife on a girls' boarding school campus.

"Just a mental case pervert, I guess," Heather answered. "What are we going to do about him?"

I shrugged. AJ offered Legolas a cup. After sniffing it, Legolas handed it back to him. Smart dude. AJ's rum and cokes were more rum than coke. "Can elves get drunk?" I asked.

"Oh, don't tell me you believe him, Aubrey."

I shook my head. "It's not that, just a random thought. But they can get drunk, right?"

"And how the hell am I supposed to know? You're the one who read the books obsessively."

"I think the elves were drunk when Gollum escaped. It's been awhile since I read Fellowship. You forget the little details."

"You are so weird, Aubrey." Heather pushed past me to go join the revelry. Legolas wandered back over to me when he saw our conversation was over. He leaned over to pick up his weapons.

"You seem concerned about something. Was it that young man who was bothering you?"

I stared at Legolas. It didn't take a genius to know that I was a bit upset. But I pushed it away. I had more important things to worry about than my little high school woes. "It's nothing. And now we're back at square one." I felt strange telling him that none of the guys knew who he was. After all, he was maintaining he was Legolas Greenleaf from Mirkwood. That's not exactly sane behavior. "I don't know what we're going to do with you. You claim your home is in Middle-earth, and Middle-earth doesn't exist."

Legolas didn't say anything. He just buckled his knives and arrow quiver over his street clothes. It looked pretty ridiculous, and I ended up giggling. The thought of Legolas not understanding belt loops either had my roaring. I leaned against the tree, the giggles making my entire body shake so I couldn't quite stand up without help.

"She's finally cracked," I heard Kurt say to Heather. Heather just murmured something and sipped at her drink.

"Oh man," I burst out. "I spilled Fresca onto an electrical outlet, shorting out my dorm, an elf appears in my dorm room and claims he's Legolas from the freaking Fellowship of the Ring, and now I'm helping him put a belt on. I think I'm going insane!"

"Maybe you should go back to the room," Heather suggested. She looked at Legolas. "Maybe you can crash with one of the guys?"

"He's not staying with me!" Michael exclaimed a bit too quickly. Heather sent him one of her death glares, but both Kurt and AJ declined as well.

"I'd prefer to stay with Aubrey, thank you," Legolas replied. He gave level glances at all three teenaged guys. It was clear to see how different he was than them. AJ was well on his way to being smashed, Kurt was hanging on Heather like a barnacle, and Michael was a bit too stiff in his pants. Legolas was not only older than them, whether he was a fictional elf or not, but he held himself with proper posture. Just the way he held himself, proud and with a level gaze, seemed to speak volumes about his maturity. I didn't blame him for not wanting to live with a teenaged boy. I wouldn't want to either, especially after living with my brother my whole life.

And not just because I was a passably attractive teenaged girl either.

"Let's head back," I said. "Thanks for the clothes, AJ." I tugged on Legolas' sleeve. He carried his old clothes as we walked along. We past by a girl pushed against a tree. One of the jocks from the boy's school was groping her as they tongue wrestled. It wasn't anything particularly new to see. I mean, hormonal teenagers will drunkenly grope each other in the woods. "Oh, so gross. Get a room, why don't you?"

"Screw off, Raston," The girl said, unwrapping herself from the guy momentarily. "Just because you're a prude doesn't mean the rest of us have to be sex starved."

I winced from the insult and continued walking. Legolas kept right at my heels. A quick glance at him revealed a horrified expression on his face. "Why did you let her speak to you like that? A harlot has no right to judge you."

I stopped walking. The glow of the bonfire was still quite visible from where we stood in the woods. "Are you crazy?" I asked. I looked up at him, though I couldn't see his face at all in the darkness. "Or have you been locked in a basement for forty years?"

"Such a shameless display has no place in polite company," Legolas continued. "And to speak to you like that. It's highly inappropriate."

"You've obviously never been to high school," I said, matter-of-factly. "My cousin, who goes to a co-ed public school, said that it's even worse there. I mean, the fact that it's co-ed would tip you off, but eh, teenagers will find a way to do the dirty."

"It's commonplace?" Legolas seemed to ignore most of what I said. Either because he had no idea what I was saying, or because I wasn't saying anything particularly useful.

"What's with the vocabulary? Doesn't it get hard to talk like that after awhile?" I shrugged and continued walking.

Legolas touched my arm with his fingertips. The touch was as light as a feather, bu it was enough to send a shiver down my spine. "Aubrey, you're avoiding what I'm saying to you. Why are you trying to play this off as normal? It's not normal."

"A man who claims he's an elf isn't normal either, Legolas-whoever-you-are." I flashed him a grin. "Come on, or we'll get sucked back into teenage debauchery, and no one wants that."

Legolas let it go, for which I was grateful. I still was torn on whether or not it was wise to let this guy back in our dorm room. It probably was the stupidest thing ever, but as I mentioned before, I wasn't particularly bright, especially in the face of a handsome man. Also, if he was mentally ill, I'd feel bad for throwing him on the streets. We weren't in necessarily a high crime area, otherwise they wouldn't have built two boarding schools for rich families, but anything could happen.

We continued walking back towards Dawnsend. Ellette would be thrilled to have a hot guy in our dorm, for sure, even if we both knew better than to tempt fate with the Witch. But we were teenage girls, what else were supposed to do? The responsible thing?

I was about to step onto the main trail when Legolas caught my arm again. I could just barely make out his form in the moonlight. It was almost to the full moon, and the air still held winter's chill though it was well into spring. "What's up?" I asked.

He pulled me into the trees. I nearly yelped, but Legolas slapped a hand over my mouth. That, of course, sent my self-defense training instincts into overdrive. I was about to slam my elbow into Legolas' solar plexus, thus freeing myself to a round of "I told you so"s from Michael and the other guys. I didn't quite get the chance to cause any bodily harm. Mrs. Thomas, followed by Headmistress Banning and Headmaster Lewis from Stonewell marched on by. Three police officers followed them.

"Oh god, Heather!" I breathed, forgetting Legolas had just saved me from getting in a world of trouble. I pulled away from Legolas and whipped out my cell. Figuring a text would be better, as I could hear music from someone's boombox start to play, I typed out the SOS signal we'd agreed upon years ago.

"Let's get out of here," I said. Legolas nodded, and we tore off running towards the dorm. Legolas quickly outstripped me, courtesy of his long legs. Once he realized I wasn't quite the gazelle, he slowed up and grabbed my hand. In a normal situation, I'd be thrilled that a guy was holding hands with me. Now I was just weirded out.

But holding on to him seemed to make me all the more stubborn to keep up. It's why Ellette and I would always run together when we had to do the mile in gym class. We'd talk shit to each other and try to out do the other one. It worked, for the most part. Nothing else in the world would get us to run, except maybe an ice cream truck, or a zombie apocalypse.

Once we made it to the dorm, a quick reconnaissance revealed that Mrs. Thomas left a senior girl named Janice in charge. Janice was perhaps the most insidious student that ever went to Dawnsend. Not only had she completely fooled every authority figure (and half the underclassmen) into thinking she was innocent, sweet, and trustworthy, but she single-handedly pulled the senior prank that year. I don't know where she got that much pudding, and I don't know how she drained the pool, but everyone knew better than to cross Janice Wu.

I walked right in the front door, Legolas trailing behind me. There was this whole unspoken agreement between the senior girls that if we brought in a guy to the dorms, there would be no questions. Not even with Legolas being strapped with weaponry and being obviously older than a teenager. Janice, reading Cosmo with her feet propped up on Mrs. Thomas's desk as if she owned it, popped her gum and sent me a wide grin.

"Well, hello handsome. You've never snuck a guy in before, Aubrey. And I don't blame you for waiting." She let out a whistle. "Go on up, Mrs. Thomas won't be back for ages. I already sent an SOS to Heather and a couple other girls." Janice tilted her head towards the elevator. "The guys are _so_ busted though. They couldn't wait until after finals to have their last hurrah."

"No, they sure couldn't," I replied, for lack of anything to say. Legolas stayed so close to me I thought he'd trip over my feet, but I should have given him credit. The guy was like a cat. We boarded the elevator, and Legolas let out a sigh of relief, before remembering that elevators were not his friend. He grabbed the wall, as if that would do anything. "You all right there, champ?"

Legolas looked at me, the condescending nature of the nickname completely lost on him. In short order, the doors pinged and Legolas shot out like a bat out of hell. "Note to self: Technology scares the crap out of weird dudes who think they're elves."

We walked back down the hall to my dorm. Thankfully, all the doors were closed so I didn't have to explain Legolas' presence further. I opened the door to my room. Ellette let out a little shriek. "Oh my god, Aubry, knock!" She dove into the bathroom, but not before Legolas and I got a good long view of her wet, naked body, covered only by a towel.

I turned to Legolas. "I don't think I've ever seen a person turn that shade of puce. Haven't you ever seen a half-naked teenage girl before?"

Ellette's voice drifted through the bathroom door. "I hate you forever, Aubrey!"

Legolas swallowed. "Is it commonplace for girls to gallivant around so?"

I smiled. "Welcome to Dawnsend Academy for Girls, Legolas Greenleaf." I patted him on the shoulder and closed the door behind us.

* * *

**Author's Note**: *ducks rotten tomatoes* I know it's been forever! My deepest apologies. I'm back, though, and I hope I can continue regular updates so I don't have an eighteen month break again. Yeesh. Anyway, this was heavily inspired by a poem my friend wrote me for Christmas. **Morohtar** wrote a poem entitled "The Fellowship of the Fanatics." It's pretty fantastic, and I strongly urge you to read it. You can find it on my favorites list at the top.

Now, I'm sick and cranky so I'll leave this at that.


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